The Christmas Closing [2025 Edition]

“‘Twas an hour before closing and the agents were tense,

To close Christmas Eve just didn’t make sense.

But the Seller was booked on the 6 o’clock flight,

And he warned, “there WILL be a closing tonight.”

“The agents agreed because business was dead,

And visions of commission checks danced in their heads.

The loan was approved by the lender’s good grace,

Everyone knew ‘twas a borderline case.”

“The Buyers divorced, remarried again,

Divorced once more, and now were just friends.

The loan package complete to the closer was carried,

With instructions to close before they remarried.”

“The title search arrived nonetheless,

From page on through sixteen a terrible mess.

An improper legal, 3 judgments, 2 liens,

But a few lines on page seven looked pretty clean.”

“The title was cleared and the closing was set,

But to finish today was not a sure bet.

The closer dashed in waving her CDs,

It was covered with coffee and creamed peas.”

“But down in the corner you barely could see,

The Buyer still owed a buck thirty-three.

So the closer extracted a bill from her compact,

And the agents agreed to the rest…on a contract.”

“To add some interest the Seller revealed,

To everyone’s horror-the well wasn’t sealed!

And, oh yes, he wanted to change the disclosure,

His mother just died of radon exposure.”

“Everything else in his house was okay,

His cracked floors and walls were always that way!

About that time the Buyer chimed in,

“We’d like to continue, but before we begin…”

“I noticed these papers-I’m likely to blame,

But I gave my agent my wrong legal name.

And one more thing I had hoped to avoid,

Does it really matter if I’m self-employed?”

“About this time the closer exploded,

She pulled out a taser and said it was loaded.

Everyone froze and sat there amazed,

She frothed at the mouth and her eyes were both glazed.”

More rapid than eagles her curses they came,

She bristled and spouted and called them bad names.

“The closing is OFF, do I make myself clear?

Merry Christmas to all, Now GET OUT OF HERE!”

There’s no need for a nightmare before closing. Blue Note Title is always here to help. We hope you and your family and friends have a very Merry Christmas and a happy holiday season. We look forward to serving you in the new year.